Monday, December 15, 2008
Happy 1st Birthday, Precious Boy!
When you were in my tummy, I had hoped you were a girl.
I didn't know what to do with boys. I knew all about ponytails and dolls and tea parties. I love PINK! I didn't want to subject a boy to that.
But, before we even found out for sure you were a boy, I knew. And I was scared.
You popped out like a football player with those big shoulders, all 9 lbs. of you
I saw that dark brown hair and those big blue eyes and wondered, "is he mine?"
But then you cuddled in next to me and made your home there.
You made your home in my heart, sweet boy, like I never imagined was possible.
From the start you made it clear, "this mommy...she's mine."
And I've loved every minute of loving on you, cuddling you, teaching you, nursing you...
I'm saddened that you are turning one, honestly.
I hope you still want to cuddle me and give me big open mouth kisses.
I hope you still let me rock you to sleep and sing your hymn, "How Great Thou Art" to you at night. Every time I sing it I am more in awe of how great and amazing our God is. Somehow looking at your face, singing that song...I become overwhelmed with His goodness. Honestly, I have to commit you to Him often. I frequently have to check my grasp to make sure it's not too tight. You have a way of sneaking into my heart and my thoughts and making me want to grasp your sweetness a little too tightly. I know you're a blessing from Him. There's no way I could have dreamed up something so precious.
I'm glad I have celebrated one year with you.
A year of amazing firsts, like smiles that light up the room, laughs that keep us rolling, smirks that steal our hearts, not to mention, rolling, crawling, sitting, talking, and taking your first steps!
What a precious year it has been. Oh, the things I have learned and the things you and your sister have taught me. I'm convinced they could fill a book! Thank you for teaching me what only you could teach me in the way that only you could.
I love you eons more today than I did a year ago and who EVER thinks that is possible staring at their little newborn?
You are a special boy, Beckett Cole.
Happy Birthday my little man.